Caption: PIPE UP
Piper is sitting on a bench by Lassiter's Lake.
PIPER: Hey, guys.
She waves.
PIPER: So I'm kind of freaking out, because...I made a music video...with no time, no budget, and no...idea at the start. I eventually came up with a concept, a pretty cool concept if I do say so myself.
She mimes putting many different hats on.
PIPER: I was wearing so many hats...cameraman, art director...just, everything, and Xanthe my best friend had one job. Literally, one job. To get me background extras. Did she get the cool people from school, or some legit dancers? No, no. If you'd guessed 'my neighbours', you'd be right! My family, her family, the neighbours.
She puts her head in her hands.
PIPER: In other news, I'm going to be starting up a really lucrative business! Rent- a- Crowd! Consisting of everyone on my street, because apparently, everyone has way too much time on their hands! Honestly, don't you people have lives? Don't you people go to work?! Don't you have jobs?! It's a school movie, you weren't even getting paid(!)
She looks into the camera.
PIPER: Rule number one of film- making: if you don't have any budget, you either need to beg, borrow, or steal. If none of them work out, then...beg to your parents. Suffering for your art sounds so romantic, doesn't it...? Well, it's not! In reality, when you're picking up the cat crap.
She claps her hands together.
PIPER: Oh, my God! I wish I'd filmed my mo...you should have seen her. You should have seen what she was wearing. It was, like, this hat and like...
She chokes.
PIPER: Parents embarrassing you, I can't...she's got like, this, thing for someo...one of the other neighbours. Oh...and she's like, trying to impress him. She didn't think thought the whole noughties vibe thing, because it wasn't working. It was *so* bad. It was so bad.
She puts a hand over her face again.
PIPER: But I was like, Mum, Mum! Yeah! Great! Killing it. Because I wanted to film in the back yard and like, use her stuff...
She tails off.
PIPER: When your mum says, 'Darling, do I look good in this outfit?' Say yes. Always say yes. This goes out to all the boyfriends, as well, don't hesitate, don't even have a quaver in your voice, you need a confident, strong, 'YES'. 'You look good'
She shrugs.
PIPER: But I did the best I could...with what I had...
She puts up a hand to her mouth, conspirationally.
PIPER: Wasn't much!
She puts her hand down.
PIPER: Whatever!
She stretches out her arms.
PIPER: It's out there, it's happened, it's in the past! Talking to you guys about it makes me feel so much better. It makes me stop doubting myself...I put stuff out there and I'm like 'hmmm' and you guys give me so much love, and I give love back to you guys, and it's like this love *cycle*, you know...what goes around, comes around, baby!
She looks energised.
PIPER: God knows why you watch my channel, but you *do* and you *have* since Day 1...some of you...just, er, don't unsubscribe.
She squints at the camera.
PIPER: Some of you guys comment, like, on the reg, constant love and support...Grace, one of them, she's always leaving the loveliest comments and sending love straight back to you girl! And Abby, she commented on my Awkward Conversations video about when she had to explain to her grandma that she had a boyfriend.
She puts a hand on her chest in solidarity.
PIPER: Girl, I can just imagine how that would have played out.
She pretends to have a conversation between Abby and her Grandma.
PIPER:(as Abby) Gran, I have a *boyfriend*!
PIPER:(as Abby's grandma, deafly) Eh? You have a what?
PIPER:(as Abby) A boy? I'VE MET A BOY! He's my BOY- FRIEND.
PIPER:(as Abby's grandma) I don't know...speak up, dear, I can't hear you!
PIPER:(as Abby) I've met a BOY and he's a LOVELY YOUNG MAN.
PIPER:(as Abby's grandma) What about a jerry can?
PIPER:(as Abby) No...Gran, I'VE MET A BOY!
PIPER:(as Abby's grandma) Er...what?
She looks in exasperation at the camera and shrugs.
PIPER: Would have been a tough conversation, I can imagine.
She stretches out her arms again.
PIPER: Here we go. Got a little rant. You ready? You weren't expecting it, it's not a rant video, but hey, I'll slip one in anyway!
She pauses for effect.
PIPER: I was going to be, like, you know, all the comments that you guys leave, love or hate, but you know what, even the hate comments give me a little bit of something, give me a little bit of juice as well. You know why? Here we go.
She settles back on the bench.
PIPER: Love and hate. When you love someone, you're putting in all this time and energy into them, right? And when you hate someone as well, you're putting all this time and energy in as well. Right? So when you, when someone's like, God, I *hate* that person, it's almost like a form of flattery, because they're still wasting their time thinking about you, like, actively. As soon as you don't care, about someone or something, that's when it means nothing to you, that's "hate", you know what I mean? There you go.
She looks thoughtful.
PIPER: Who told me about that line? Someone told me about it, I wish it was an original thought, but it wasn't.
She waves.
PIPER: Alright, aloha, guys.
She switches off the camera.
